If you’re on any sort of dating app, and you know a thing or two about dating photography, you’ll know that NSFW pics are everywhere. It’d be hard to find a single (double meaning, get it?) person who hasn’t been sent at least one in the last few years – willingly or not – which is why it is super important to learn how to take sexy selfies. And, it’s fair to say that women respond with their fair share of sexy selfies. I mean, how else is your fancy lingerie going to get some love during lockdown?
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Now the likes of Kim K, Lizzo, Channing Tatum, or well, most celebs, have made it acceptable to pose in very little clothing for Instagram, so we don’t really think that much of snapping a revealing pic and DMing it to someone. #sendnudes. You do you – we’re all feeling confident in your body and your photos, if you’re thinking of stripping down and getting your photoshoot on, here’s what you should consider. And check out some sexy selfie ideas for some selfie inspiration!
Why Sending Sexy Selfie Pics Is A Terrible Idea
Before you learn how to take a sexy selfie and press send on your phone, take a second to consider the following:
How happy would you be with your boss seeing that photo? Or Dad? How about Grandma? You may only send the photo to one person, but there is a slight chance it could end up online or in a group chat. It’s happened before, so unless you are Kim K and a sexy slip would actually kick-start your career, take a second to think about what would happen if the photos got leaked – intentionally or not. Internet search lasts forever. I know this for a fact, because there’s an embarrassing overly-emo tumblr post I wrote in eight grade that still comes up when you google my full name.
Hacking, revenge porn and cyberbullying exists, if you really want to get into it. That means that there’s potential for some really big consequences. Generally, people only care about celeb selfies and leaked nudes so unless you’ve got 15 million insta followers, you are probably okay.
Now, think about the person on the receiving end of that selfie. There’s nothing worse than an unsolicited d*ck pic, am I right ladies? Don’t go sending your photos to someone who doesn’t want them, or appreciate them, or someone you don’t trust that might hurt your feelings. You might know you look fit but if they don’t wanna know, it’s their loss. Leave it at that. If they really aren’t into that kinda of thing, you could scare them off or end up as a joke in the group chat.
Why You Should Def Send Sexy Selfies
Taking provocative photos might make YOU feel good. Even if you don’t plan to send them to anyone else, having shots of yourself looking smoking hot is a great confidence boost. Look back on them when you’re having a crappy, gonna-need-a-strong-one-after-this kind of day and remind yourself just how sexy you are. And we stan a confident queen, or king.
Even though the photos can make you feel more confident in your body, taking them can be daunting. Spending time learning how to take a good selfie by working out your best angles and and learning to love the bits you might not be thrilled with is part of the process. Looking at yourself through a camera lens is a great way to explore a new relationship with your body. I bet you that the camera doesn’t see half of the flaws you think you do.
Spice up your relationship and build intimacy. Sending a few flirty pics, getting someone’s heart racing, knowing that you’re on their mind is such a fun way to enhance your relationship. During times when you can’t be together, a little bit of teasing never hurt anybody. Just be prepared for the sexual tension, it might cause some serious frustration!
Plus, if you can deal with the hindered gratification, then exchanging seductive snaps is a great way to build trust and intimacy. If you’re both confident and happy to exchange photos, then get your flirt on. Bonus? Photos can be taken anytime, but you can send a sexy pic later on, when you’re actually lying in bed with a coffee-stained t-shirt and greasy hair. Bottom line, if you want to let your partner know how much you miss them, or exactly what you’re thinking about but don’t have the words, a quick snap of some side-boob, of that bulge in your pants might be a way to get the message across.
Finally, the most important reason to not send a sexy selfie is because you just don’t want to. Sending a private photo is your own damn business. Nothing and no one should persuade you to send it if it just doesn’t sit right with you. That random dude asking for nudes shouldn’t change your mind, nor should the chick sending a thousand winking emojis, or your friends, who claim it’s no big deal and send them every Monday, Thursday, and Saturday.
How To Send a Sexy Selfie
With some of your tamer sexy selfies, you might be comfortable posting on Instagram for all the world to see. In other cases, the world, or specifically Auntie Sue and Uncle Bob, seeing your sexy selfie might have you red in the face. In these instances, I highly recommend sending your sexy selfie directly to the desired recipient privately.
So, how can you send a sexy selfie while still keeping it classy? Got you covered, boo.
For the love of all that is holy, use Snapchat
You may prefer Instagram or TikTok for your social media obsession, but when it comes to sending sexy selfies, choose Snapchat.
Unless you reaallllyy trust the recipient of your sexy selfie, sending a sexy selfie directly to someone means they have that shot in their possession and can do whatever they want with it, including showing it to other people without your permission and even worse – without your knowledge (not cool). With Snapchat, you can at least seek some comfort in the idea that the photo will only be visible to them for a couple of seconds.
Having said that, screenshots are always a possibility. While you will be alerted of the screenshot, the damage is done and you can’t guarantee your beau will delete it, especially when it comes to your sexiest shots. Not only that, there are ways to get around the screenshot notification (omg, what??). Likely? No. Possible? Yup.
Give the recipient fair warning
While most of the time opening a Snap in public is harmless, there are other more rated R scenarios. If someone opens a sexy selfie in public, like around a table with a bunch of friends, phones out – you might be exposing a little more of yourself than you care to…
Give the recipient some fair warning before sending the sexy selfie through.
Even in the more PG-13 scenarios, some warning will mean they’re not opening while they’re half distracted with something else. Because seriously, you spent the time getting that perfect shot. Your recipient of choice should be giving it their full attention.
Check yourself before you wreck yourself
So you’re using the right app (Snapchat) and you’ve your guy or gal some warning, but how can you be sure your sexy selfie is…sexy, and not well, weird?
You might feel awkward asking someone for advice, but if you’ve got a BFF out there who you can trust, why not get their opinion on your sexy selfie?
This will boost your confidence and a great way to help ensure the selfie perfectly straddles the line between sexy enough but not too over-the-top. The perfect balance of girl gone bad.
How To Actually Take That Sexy Selfie: 7 Tips
So, now you know the pros and cons of sending sexy selfies. You also know the best way to send a sexy selfie. Now, let’s all put on our big girl or boy panties and talk about how to take a sexy selfie, whether you’re sending it privately or posting it on Instagram. It feels good to pretend that every selfie you take just comes out naturally looking like it belongs on Kylie Jenner’s feed, but be real with yourself: that is rarely the case.
Instead, you’ve got to work what ‘yo mama gave ‘ya, while somehow striking that sweet spot between sexy but not too sexy. Do you know what I mean? You’re not trying to get in your birthday suit completely (enough celebrities have taught us time and time again about the pitfalls of this route), you’re not down to look like a character that just stepped out of Moulin Rouge, and you certainly don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard.
You’re more so going for that Bad Girl RiRi vibe. An “I woke up like this”, vibe that skipped the bed head and awoke up from a deep sleep into a seriously flattering angle.
You in? Read on to eat up all the best tips on how to actually take a sexy selfie. I promise, you won’t even feel all that silly.
- Start saving sexy selfie inspiration
When it comes to a sexy selfie that’s still PG-13, what’s the #1 spot where you’re going to see it? Instagram.
With so much sexy selfie inspiration floating around on the app, why not start collecting sexy selfie inspiration to help you figure out what you think looks best? We all have different takes on what constitutes as “sexy”.
To save images on Instagram, simply tap the flag icon below the image on the right. The image will automatically be saved into a collection, so this way, you can access sexy selfie inspiration at the click of a button. No more blank staring at your phone looking for someone to hit you with a magical sexy spell. Keep all the inspiration you need right at your fingertips. Abra ca sexy dabra.
2. Are you practicing?
But really, are you? While you might feel slightly (incredibly) ridiculous sitting in your room trying to perfect the angle for your JLo look-a-like booty shot, knowing what angels work for you and your body type can make all the difference in capturing the perfect sexy selfie.
If Nicki Minaj’s Feelin’ Myself has taught us anything, sexiness is all about confidence. Take the time to practice your sexy selfie, and you’ll be in a much better position to slay your next sexy photoshoot.
3. What are you wearing?
Nude isn’t always best. In fact, even in a world of disappearing Snapchat photos, we all know screenshots exist, as I mentioned above you may want to err on the side of caution.
If you’re thinking it’s going to be much more challenging to ramp up the sex appeal without stripping down, you‘re wrong.
Oftentimes, the sexist selfies aren’t full-on nude, but instead use clothes and accessories that emphasize your best features, letting your audience fantasize about what’s going on underneath the clothes.
So go ahead, if you’ve got a dress that makes you feel like a Kardashian, or a pair of jeans that will have your admirer dreaming of the peach emoji, pull them out and dress to impress in your sexy selfie. It will make a world of a difference both in how you look, but also how you feel (another reminder that sexiness is all about confidence).
4. What facial expression works for you?
Have your sexy face nailed down? Yup, everybody has a sexy face. And yes, it’s definitely one that you’re going to want to have a good handle on.
For some, the sexy face might be more smoldering and serious. While, for others, a selfie with pearly whites is the most flattering of them all.
The one thing that’s for certain about all sexy faces: It’s all in the eyes. Let your eyes convey a message. Try out some “smizing” techniques a la Tyra Banks. Stare deep into the mirror until you make yourself want you, and then try to recreate it on camera.
5. Have you tried…props?
And I’m not even talking about anything rated R here.
You might want to try adding some visual interest to your photo by way of props. Maybe you’re drinking from a straw? Maybe you look super comfortable and inviting in your bed? Or perhaps it’s something as simple as a candle in the background of your photo to create a mood with soft lighting? Got a friend with a food fetish? There are those too.
When it comes to taking a sexy selfie, now is not the time to play it safe. Get creative.
6. Consider filters
I love a good filter as much as the next person (the Paris filter on IG stories? Yes please). But, it’s very easy to overdo it on the filters to the point where the photo loses some of its natural appeal.
Pair your filter with the vibe of your photo. Want a darker, smoldering kinda sexy selfie? Use a high-contrast filter that makes you look a bit — dark (in the personality sense). Maybe you’re going for a playful sexy selfie and you want a filter that makes your photo look nostalgic and grainy? Or maybe you want something that feels a little boho, so something with a rainbow prism sounds right up your alley?
Bottom line: Whatever the case, find the filter that makes you feel your best, and you’re one step ahead of the game.
7. When/Where do you feel most confident?
Do you feel like a bombshell with a full face of makeup? Maybe you feel most sexy after a sweaty workout sesh when your face is glowing with adrenaline? Maybe it’s poolside in your itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini and sunkissed skin? Maybe you feel you’re best with a fresh-face, tousled hair, and sleepy gaze?
Whatever scenario has you feeling most confident, it’s important to play that up in your sexy selfie.
Plus, if it’s a specific person who tends to bring out your inner Kate Upton, think about that person as you snap your sexy selfie. And! Important! Be sure to tell him/her you were thinking of them during your photoshoot. That alone will turn up the sex appeal without you doing much (#lazygirlhacks).
And there you have it: 7 tips that are guaranteed to help you deliver a boatload of sexiness during your next personal photoshoot. Go ahead, girl, go try it. Dim the lights and get out there and shoot.
Famous Last Words
If you’re new to the world of sending nudes, sexting and sexy selfies then we’d recommend taking a few shots so you can see how comfortable you are. Don’t worry, everyone feels a little weird to start off. And of course, everyone manages to catch some truly awful looking photos of themselves along with some super attractive ones. Nothing like the high of realizing how great your ass looks in a photo to realize that you’ve got six chins and you look like you’ve seen a ghost.
If you’re going to go for it, here’s some quick advice to get a fit sexy selfie photo, not a flop. First, get the lighting right. Second, if you’re going for a mirror selfie, check the background for trash and weird objects, yesterday’s pizza box with one last congealed slice just ruins the vibe. Thirdly, take your time, you can’t rush perfection. And finally … Hit. That. Pose.